Day 13: Today I just took a test

First of all, it’s been more than a year already since I wrote Day 1 post. How come I haven’t even passed the half of this challenge by now?

Second of all, the topic should be “Day 13: What are you excited about?” and what popped up in my mind first was, of course, seven boys from South Korea as I’ve never been so excited lately unless it’s about them.

But third of all, let’s save my fangirling session for later, because I just took a test and seems like it’s an interesting topic to write about. It was a love language test — which I don’t know if the test is even accurate, but at least it got me, “oh… that’s why I acted like this…” or “that’s why I’m getting very sad when I experienced that…” when I see the result. I also felt like I never knew myself enough because how come I just knew what my love language is after all these years? But now I know, sometimes what makes you excited the most correlates with what your love language is.

So, here’s my love language result:

Test source

At first, before taking this test I underestimated the accuracy because I never found out what my love language is. It will be hard to define, I thought. I’m only familiar with some of love languages: gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation, and I didn’t think I’m belong to one of those love languages, so I always believe that love language is not something I’m able figure out. But I just knew, there’s one more language called quality time which (apparently) became my primary love language.

Then everything became clearer; why I can be grumpy when I enjoyed time with my loved ones then suddenly got interrupted, why I love spending time with people I’m close to, and why I value it the most over any other love languages. To think about it, I rarely have close friends who like to sharing gifts with each other, or frequently do sweet talks and full of compliments, or enjoy too much skinship. I don’t mind if I have, but if I don’t, I don’t get bothered too. As long as I can have quality time with them (even it’s just via text messages once in a while), or know they support me and always be my side, I’ll be fine.

It’s also becoming an answer of why an introvert like me need people by my side when I go outside, most of the time. It’s not that I don’t like go out alone — I sometimes take myself on a date too — but I just enjoy it more when I do it with other people. It feels like… I’m spending too much time with myself when I home, and when the portion of myself becoming too much, it’s just got too much. That’s why I need people to be my companion when I’m not home. I also love doing activities together with people, because my mind goes the heck should I do when I’m outside alone by myself. This also applied when I’m exercising or doing sports. Ever since pandemic came, I rarely do sports because I’m alone most of the time and it feels less fun to do sports all by yourself. (Please don’t take this as an excuse :)) before pandemic I did jogging, gym, zumba, yoga, HIIT, and kickboxing, and I enjoyed that because I did it with other people.)

It’s becoming an answer why I’m excited when I had to hang out with people I’m comfortable with, or spending a long time with them, and instead of being drained I got a sudden boost of energy (note: this is not applicable if I hang out or gather with people I’m not close to nor comfortable with, I’m still an introvert anyway).

It’s becoming an answer why one of my greatest fears is not to having friends by my side. Imagine an introvert — not even categorized as social introvert — always needs having people by her side to get her energy full. It feels strange, but after the love language result came, now I understand that having self awareness is 10/10 highly recommended. The fact that I could look into myself through a simple test, made me learn how to express self-love more.

To conclude: love yourself before you gain courage to love others. And one of the methods is by figuring out what your love language first.

And ugh — 

I wish everyone had their love language written on their forehead…